Lessons from FB Friends

We are getting rid of STUFF that Seriously Takes Us From Freedom. My first stop is to consider when and where I operate from blame mode vs. resourceful mode. I'm guessing our default mode is blaming others--it is easy and takes responsibility of outcome out of our hands. Then, conveniently, whatever happens is not our fault. The harder but more responsible mode is resourcefulness, where we choose to make the best of our circumstances, stay on God's boat to get His input and direction, and find joy and workarounds in whatever is before us.

Two of my facebook friends are inspiring examples: one a young, single mom who recently had to lose her cell phone because of lack of child support. She merrily noted a workaround to get in touch with her and daily finds joy in her relationship with her son, her friends, her TV heroes, her church and God. Unpaid bills, a unsure future direction, and if onlys do not seem to rob her of joy. She is resourceful and it comes through loud and clear. I thank her for this model that encourages me daily.

The other is one of my cousins, who has lived one of the hardest lives I know. She approaches retirement with at least three jobs, having raised three now successfully grown kids through a nightmare of abuse and abandonment, doubt and debt, and has overcome more obstacles than most of us ever know. She is truly my (not-biological) sister in my love and admiration for her, and I think daily that she never gives up, embraces her students, friends, family and co-workers with a model of energy and tenacity that simply makes me a better person.

Where are you blaming others? Where are you resourceful in what you have, what you don't have, and how you choose to relate to the many people with whom you interact?

Want to lose the first and most critical piece of STUFF? Consider losing your BLAME mode every time it tries to take front and center stage in your heart.

Dear Me

As I have declared November de-STUFF (stuff that Seriously Takes Us From Freedom) month, I decided to write a letter to me. It just seemed wise to figure out where I am in my attitude toward myself.

Dear Me,

Today is an important day. It marks another of those days that we have had lately where we awaken with hope and calm. The early dawn and wonderfully strong coffee launch us into a place of joy and strength to face the day.

You remember--it wasn't always this way. Most mornings began with a litany of self-imposed grievances, wondering how you racked up such questionable statistics: married--more than once; divorced--more than once; children--two left you during their high school years to live with their dad; career--promising as teacher and principal but you resigned long before retirement with no nest egg, no "normal" trajectory for the future.

But now, as you exit 18 years of career wilderness, you are celebrating another day of looking into a different mirror. The word "regret" doesn't even have a place in your reflection. When you look at you, there is acceptance, energy for your calling , and a sincere belief that all has come together for good. Relationships are strong and deep, you know every life stage--including aging--is doable and in fact, an adventure, and despair, depression and anxiety have left the building.

It is time to share. Others may need to know that days can be brighter, even without circumstances changing overnight. You want to share how you put down the mirror of regret and criticism and picked up the one of hope and acceptance. It is a journey of intent and care and I know you have that dream for people everywhere.

And so we begin.

Love, Me