When We Judge Someone

All of us judge each other, somehow, sometimes, some more than others.

We can call it analysis, objectivity or any other fancy term, but at the end of the day, it is what God warns us against in Matthew 7:

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults--unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging..."

Measuring ourselves by others is a trap out of which we have to continually step. Our minds will always take us there if we don't stand a constant vigil. We do it to comfort ourselves, to pat ourselves on the back that someone else is somewhere else that we are somehow above.

The reality that God puts forth looks very different:

We are all in the exact same cesspool.

Any and all of us can call on Him to get out.

He is the only rescue out of the cesspool.

When we judge, we devalue that person. Even if we only do it in our mind, it is helpful to remember that we have an audience of One even then.

Besides that embarrassment, there is another startling truth:

To the extent we judge, we are not free to be ourselves.

We are tethered to...judgment.

Better to be our cesspool selves in need of rescue.

When a Voice Says: "Take Your Life" (Day 4)

Is the common denominator experienced by those who finally take their life the fact that, in each day's view, they no longer felt useful, productive and like they belonged?

Was their experience in Camp Defeat (see Days 1-3) so bleak that a vacuum was created, into which poured enemy voices who taunted and tempted and isolated, screaming "It's hopeless!"

Imagine tidal waves of emotional pain so great and so continual that taking your life--in all of its final moment horror--seems a more viable option than facing yet another wave.

The waves are voices...voices that gather steam over time and overcome the weapons of strength that God lays before us. Time becomes a torrent of defeat rather than a gentle rain of hope. Those in Camp Defeat look ahead through a lens that sees more of the same rather than a chance that something may change for the better.

Hope is palpable. It is so real that you can almost touch it. Where does it come from? If you lose it--all of it--how do you get it back?

If we understand and talk openly that Camp Defeat is the experience of enemy voices moving us away from life, then, like our prescription for Camp Slide, we would be helping each other disassemble the voices.

Until we treat these voices as real and disastrous, as God teaches us to do, we cannot turn the tide of suicide. Those under the torrent of voices are like the person caught in the ocean at the exact point where repeated waves dislodge their footing and there is no gain, no rescue in sight. Exhaustion whispers, "Give up."

Those of us in Camp Strong, where hope is a readily available commodity, must expend energy (time) and wisdom (prayer) to bring the idea of these voices out into open conversation. As we noted in Day 3, these voices of defeat want to stay hidden in the crevasses of our minds.

Perhaps the voices know that if they are successful, the volume and torrent of pain at the moment of suicide will not dissipate--it will transform into a tidal spray that covers all those left behind. The danger is that this spray of earthly defeat of hope will take root in yet another of those who remain immersed in shock and grief.

It is all about recognizing and helping others to acknowledge the voices. Then we can remember our weapons that God has provided. Life is a war--our minds are the battleground of God's voice against enemy voices. We can lead each other back to the bunker, treating our wounds with care and encouragement, and retrain our strength to face the days of voices that will always be.

Above all, we must honor the fallen. They fought bravely to the end.

When a Voice Says: "Take Your Life" (Day 3)

To review the past two days, we know the mission of the voice that says to us, "Take your life," is the earthly defeat of hope.

If we meet that voice while we are living in Camp Strong, we can easily dismiss it and be on our way. Our weapons of hope are intact and the circumstances of our life energize our campaign against the voice.

Today we consider Camp Slide where hope is slipping away and it is increasingly difficult to say no to the voices of defeat.

If you are in Camp Slide, the pain, though not yet unbearable, is beginning to exceed your weapon stash. More times in a day than not, you can't fully push away the thought of taking your life. There are moments when it has an attractiveness that puts a smokescreen on the horror of giving in.

If someone is aware of your plight, he or she might tell you to pray.

Let's be honest. Prayer is powerful but it doesn't always and automatically stop the pain. If you are in a losing battle with hopelessness, you need specifics to wrap your prayer around.

God is always in the rescue business but if we can't see Him move visibly and fast, we sometimes succumb to the voices that echo that He doesn't care.

So consider these specifics that put you in motion while God is at work:

Dissect the voice(s) by writing down everything you hear. Create three columns on a page with these headings: (1) God's Voice, (2) Enemy Voices, and (3) People's Voices. Through the day, jot down thoughts that are at war with each other in your mind.

Ask God for a loophole through which you can more easily view the goodness of your life, the circumstances that do bring hope, and the thought of what the future could bring if the voices were quelled. Write down every iota of goodness and blessing in your life that you can muster.

Light shed by writing is a power tool. The enemy works best in the silent crevasses of your mind, encouraging you to not tell as others might think this or that. The last thing enemy voices want is the shedding of light and the power of sharing in a notebook and with trusted others.

The words of goodness and blessing, even if the list is short, have the power to feed you hope, a spoonful at a time. A spoonful of hope, because Jesus is its Author, can counteract a huge weight of defeating voices.

Yes, they (the enemy voices) will probably return to the extent they think they are winning you over to their mission--the earthly defeat of hope. Keep moving by writing. Remember it is the tortoise pace that wins the day.

The power of the pages that separate the voices into distinct owners and remind you of goodness and blessing in your life is supernatural. It gathers a steam that the enemy fears most and puts you back on the path to Camp Strong.

Paper...pen...hope...please. Don't delay. The world needs you. I promise.

I know that because you--you--are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Author of Love and Hope.

When a Voice Says: "Take Your Life" (Day 2)

Yesterday we acknowledged there is a voice--or a battalion of voices--that urges us to enter into an earthly defeat of hope by taking our own life.

We all seem to reside in one of three camps according to the hope we can muster each day to face our circumstances and surroundings: Camp Strong, Camp Slide or Camp Defeat.

Today we look at what it takes to keep ourselves in Camp Strong, where hopelessness is reasonably easy to keep at bay, and hope is the general demeanor of most days.

There is a fluency in Camp Strong that runs between smart choices, the power of cumulative and a solid defense for the hard times.

Smart choices include taking care of self, entering into relationships that are healthy and not abusive, staying the course in career training, and spending less than you make. The power of cumulative in any of these areas paves the way for hope. To be unhealthy, abused, jobless and/or broke invites in hopelessness.

Camp Strong is not a destination reached by accident or by the lucky. It is intentional and a result of hard work on a measured path.

Its power source--our solid defense--is found in Ephesians 6:

God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Our weapons are our choices, our worship relationship with the Living God and keeping at life like the tortoise kept at the race--one plodding step at a time.

If you are in Camp Strong, thank God and ask Him who needs your escort to join you there. Your life as an ad for Camp Strong is God's reach into the other two camps.

Hope's power blooms best when shared.

When a Voice Says: "Take Your Life" (Day 1)

There are few subjects as weighty as this one, no voice more destructive than the one that says, "Take your life."

It may very well be the enemy's greatest punch because it is the earthly defeat of hope.

It is certainly not the last word on hope because Jesus defeated Death itself. He created Hope, our heavenly destination for which our soul longs. Regardless of how we translate from life to death, we find ourselves before the Lord, the author of Hope (2 Corinthians 5).

It seems there are three camps of hope, and each of us belongs to one of them:

Camp Strong: where hope is easily accessed, hopelessness held at bay with a reasonable amount of effort.

Camp Slide: where hope is slipping away and it is increasingly difficult to say no to the voices of defeat.

Camp Defeat: where hope seems absent and only excruciating pain is the menu of each day.

For the next three days, we will visit these camps, seeking to understand their characteristics, operation, and power source.

For today, consider the camp to which you currently belong. If you see yourself in Camp Slide or Camp Defeat, ask God to mute the voices long enough for you to hear hope for these next few days.

Our destination is obviously Camp Strong, but many of us are anywhere but there.

Whatever camp you are in, know that it is okay.

In God's currency, help--and hope--are always on the way.

When a Voice Says: "Don't Tell"

With some frequency, Jesus tells those with whom he talks and heals, "Don't tell." In a conversation with his disciples in Matthew 16, Jesus says to Peter, "Who do you think I am?"

You're the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God.

Curiously, Jesus made them promise they would tell no one that he was the Messiah.

He often urged those he healed to tell no one as well. Though I am mystified as to why, there is obviously a Jesus voice that [always rightly] says, "Don't tell." In that case,

Listen.

But there is another voice that says, "Don't tell."

It is the voice that is the cover guard for the abuser who harms spirit and body. Hurtful actions and comments, bent on the destruction of another person, are inflicted by someone with a bullying and controlling nature. When the heart and body are being broken by another, and a voice says, "Don't tell,"

Don't listen.

Tell.

Heeding Jesus by not telling is a lesson in trusting...Jesus.

Heeding the voice of harm by not telling is a lesson in trusting...the enemy.

Decipher the voices. Guard your trust.