The Soul, Self, Abuse and Religion--Day 4

In Walt Disney's Tangled, Rapunzel is locked in a tower, only dreaming of what is beyond. Her mother, behind of a facade of protection and care, prevents her from discovering her dream through guilt and demand.

Rapunzel's life in the tower is much like our imprisonment inside Religion. Our soul and self become listless, angry, rule-laden, or otherwise stuck in a tower of "goodness" that requires constant monitoring. We become increasingly self-judgmental (if I can just be a little bit better) or self-righteous (I would never do that--I am above that behavior) and lose the dream of wondering about God as our Magnificent Obsession.

He seems to be simply the keeper of the castle and the dream of beyond begins to die.

The path out?

Recognize God is not the keeper of that castle. That is the most powerful deception of Religion.

Ask God to reveal Himself to you in a personal relationship, and then be prepared to put in the time to get to know Him.

Enter into the tension of deciphering all you hear about God by exceeding time spent alone with Him, reading, praying, and just as importantly, listening to learn His Voice.

The path out of the abuse of Religion is slow and rocky. Many will be the voices that tell you that you are wrong. You will at times long for the safety and simplicity of the tower life.

Rapunzel navigated the tension of respecting yet ultimately breaking free of that which wrongly trapped her. Religion can be an adequate starting point with basic truths; it will reveal It's true agenda, however, when you seek to move into deeper relationship with God, leaving behind any semblance of rules and boundaries that prevent growth and maturity.

Navigate the tension. Chase God. Put in the time. God will meet you each step of the way with Truth and Love and Grace that free you from Religion's captivity.

Jesus came to give us abundant life. That is the dream planted within each of us--to know God intimately and personally as our Magnificent Obsession. We will find Him when we bravely step outside of the tower.

The Soul, Self, Abuse and Religion--Day 3

Religion is the practice of trying to stop God from being God.

In Matthew 26, we see Religion's ultimate attempt to stop God:

Jesus...told his disciples, "You know that Passover comes in two days. That's when the Son of Man will be betrayed and handed over for crucifixion."

At that very moment, the party of high priests and religious leaders was meeting in the chambers of the Chief Priest named Caiaphas, conspiring to seize Jesus by stealth and kill him.

Religion seems to think it can sneak up on God: "conspire to seize Jesus by stealth." If it wasn't such a deadly idea, the smugness of this plan made by small minds would be humorous.

Religion is a small, deadly version of God. Deadly because It limits its participants from maturing in a true faith relationship with God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

Religion:

Does not encourage personal growth and exploration. It is too afraid to let God be God because the True God might confront It's false boundaries and loveless rules.

Consistently frames God as less than He is. It takes personally any attempt to present God as larger and more encompassing than It's version of Him.

Puts procedure over Power. Hoops, steps, limits, rituals, boundaries--when established without the authority of God--become religious idols.

God is never surprised by Religion--He, in perhaps His most brilliant move, surprised Religion by using It's very judgment to turn the world upside down with the Resurrection of Love and Forgiveness, freeing all of us from Religion to join Jesus.

None of us has to abide in Religion's closet of treachery (Day 2).

Tomorrow: the path out of abuse.

The Soul, Self, Abuse and Religion--Day 2

When we are (have been) abused, we see ourselves as less. It becomes a painting of ourselves whose colors become anchored to the very depths of our being.

How do we "unpaint" that which seems to be rooted to our very selves?

I know this most wonderful young family. On Easter Sunday, I watched a video testimony from this devoted dad as he shared the painful chapter of his childhood that began around age 5: being locked in a dark closet for hours and being the target of sexual abuse while held there.

His abusers? Nuns.

What impacted me most? He remembers speaking to God and knowing He was there with him.

How in the world does a 5-year-old, being sexually abused by a "God" figure, somehow separate the True God from those who would--outside of the closet of treachery--espouse that very God?

He allowed the timbre of God's Voice to be filtered into his hearing and held on for dear life.

The prying tools to unseat any colors used to paint ourselves as less than fully made in the image of God include:

Risking trust in the very God that is falsely linked to the abuse

Holding on for dear life to the hope that God is not aligned with the perpetrator

Giving this God of hope permission to filter in the timbre of His Voice

When the umbrella of religion includes that which diminishes us from who God says we are, we have met an abuser.

The astounding Presence of God affirmed this young dad as he stepped forward on Easter, for there is nothing stronger, more vibrant, or more resilient in God's hands than our vulnerable, broken selves.

This story, and others bravely told, help us check our own paintings of self. What has created a crack in our own soul conduits that transmit to us who we are in God?

Tomorrow: the more subtle abuse of Religion.

The Soul, Self, Abuse and Religion--Day 1

Our soul is how we are most tied to God.

A bit like a shuttle launch, we lose parts over time to get to our essence, our true self that remains for all time.

Our life is spent getting to know that self--our soul--and letting it teach us what it already knows about the Living God.

It comes from God.

It is the part of us that will return to God. 

When we shut it up or shut it down (or attempt to), we lose communication with God. Our soul needs time to teach us about itself as our most precious conduit to the love and presence of God.

When abuse comes along, it can put a crack in our soul.

When God is allowed to freely show us who we are in Him, the soul conduit transmits to our hearts a steady and sturdy self-worth. A crack can cause a leaking out of that most beautiful and critical lifeblood of who we are.

When we are abused, we see ourselves as less. It becomes a painting of ourselves whose colors become anchored to the very depths of our being.

How do we change this painting? Is it possible to pry loose the tainted colors that God never intended painted?

Tomorrow: the prying tools.

Optional Guilt--A Recourse

Present optional guilt as an offering.

Optional guilt is what we wrestle with when our mind replays what if or if only, as we wish that a series of events--tragic, heartbreaking, somehow "preventable" in our optional guilt thinking--had never taken place.

I replay choices I've made over decades and wonder at the myriad of ways I could have chosen or at least impacted the series of events to change the outcome for the better.

What is the fruit of that thinking?

No fruit; only lashes to self.

Why do we lash out at ourselves when Jesus took those lashes for us?

I honor Jesus when I forgive myself. Then His sacrifice for me is not in vain.

It takes mental application to choose forgiveness of self as much as it takes physical application to choose exercise for our bodies.

I may wait until tomorrow to exercise but I'm choosing today (and every day) to pray this prayer:

Jesus, I will never understand how You suffered to give me freedom to forgive myself from "what if" and "if only." But it honors You and defeats the enemy of God when I present my optional guilt as an offering to You. Thank you for Your help as I release it to You.

Freedom from optional guilt is a beautiful thing.

Exploring Guilt--Day 3

Today is Easter Sunday.

Believers reflect on the Good News that Jesus overcame death; his empty tomb was the beginning of our rejoicing.

Today we are on the other side of the tragedy of the cross. Mary doesn't have to wrestle with "what if" any more.

Most of us, however, with our own real time circumstances, still live in the midst of our heartache:

Premature death, separation and divorce, loss of property.

To add to the pain, thoughtless believers carelessly ascribe personal failure to these events:

You didn't pray hard enough.

You didn't believe enough in healing.

You somehow weren't enough. 

What is Truth that we can apply to "what is?" Truth that will help us fight the temptation to adopt the optional guilt of "what if" or "if only." In most of our heartaches and tragedies, we can find a thread of "if only I had done this or that differently." Therein lies the foodstuff of guilt that we too often decide to adopt.

Truth:

God asks us to travel through heartbreak. My sweet friend, who just lost her grandson in a four-wheeler accident, got a tattoo that says it all: Only God Knows Why.

When Jesus left, God sent the Holy Spirit as our Constant Companion, our Comforter, our Reassuring Voice that "what is" is not the end of the story.

There is personal strength gained in the walk-through. While the enemy of God fights hard to keep us stuck in "what if" and "if only," God invites us to let Him walk with us and build our strength through the story. Only He knows how our strength gained might someday help another, in the sometimes life-saving gesture of paying it forward.

God asked Mary to travel through heartbreak. Her faithfulness got her chosen. When we are placed in the position to endure heartache, we have no idea the role God plays except that He is not taken by surprise. Somehow He allowed it.

Our response, chosen minute by minute, is our victory or our defeat:

God knows. I don't. (And neither do thoughtless believers who offer guilt-laden counsel.) I choose to be comforted in the knowing that I don't know but the Holy Spirit is by my side to give me comfort. I can ask for that comfort daily.

Or, God is a mean god who cannot be trusted. I will turn my back and do this life on my own.

The Bible says God has our best interest at heart.

Choose the hope of the other side. Keep moving by asking for the Comforter. Tell optional guilt that you will no longer be its audience.

The joy of Easter can be found each time we choose hope in the midst of our heartbreak.