Some marriages seem to have two people drifting apart, finally separated but still with a measure of relationship to weather divorce.
Other marriages became a cauldron of battery acid, where the power of the marriage becomes so hurtful that the only survival mode for one or both is to enter a state of numbness.
When all is said and done, at least one party is left in numbing breakage.
The reasons do not matter; my numbing breakage, however, may prevent wrong-track thinking for another.
In my professional life, I functioned well.
In my heart mirror, where I saw myself, I was more of a failed soul.
A failed soul trapped in numbness will make some uninspired decisions that usually lead to more regret, more failings, even more breakage.
I can only think that, besides crying out to God, one might search out a person--a friend, a counselor--who presents in one's life as...dependable.
Not an uber Christian who admonishes with little compassion and speaks even while clueless as to the inside story of the marriage.
Not one who is making uninspired life decisions on his or her own.
But rather a rock solid heart, given to listening, yet caring enough to speak up and say, "Stop.You're taking a wrong turn because you are numb and broken. Let's spend some time on finding out who you really are. There is someone valuable in there."
I didn't find that person, so I certainly moved down an uninspired path for years more.
It is the heart mirror that is the problem. Underneath the numbing breakage is a very active personal viewfinder, shouting shortcomings and failure.
Tomorrow: where is the accurate heart mirror?
