When two people are discussing an inflammatory topic, what ignites their passion?
Their opposing opinions or something else?
I'm convinced it is something else: the absence of full listening.
Full listening means only hearing what the other person is saying--not rehearsing your comeback--and waiting several seconds after he is finished before moving to your opinion. It is the listener's responsibility to focus wholly on the content of the other person's opinion, hearing his reasoning and his conclusion.
We move to inflammatory with its accompanying slashing rhetoric when we only have room in our hearts and minds for our own opinion. How can anyone else be right? Surely "our" opinion is correct.
Um, no...that is not true because it is only our opinion. When we fail to fully listen, just waiting impatiently for our turn, we block out the thinking behind what we are hearing--thinking that might be a learning experience for us.
Should we cultivate our opinions? Absolutely. We help each other reason the gray areas of life with well thought out conclusions based on as much truth as possible.
But presentation is everything. We are not helping others if we are so "right" that we don't listen, rather bullying our opinion into what we perceive to be their little minds. If we are so right, aren't we implying that they should come over to our side? What exactly is the inviting part of that conversation?
Flammable vs inviting--we make the call.
