The second half is the larger journey, where we discover our inner blueprint and learn to share it with the world. Ego is transformed quietly, yet eventfully, by the grace and mystery of God. That is for another day.
Today we lament Rohr's words that are a scathing indictment on our often failed development in the first half of life, as he imagines the prospects who come before us for hire:
If you want a job done well, on time, with accountability and no excuses, you had best hire someone who has faced a few limit situations. He or she alone has the discipline, the punctuality, the positive self-image, and the persistence to do a good job. If you want the opposite, hire someone who has been coddled, been given "I Am Special" buttons for doing nothing special, and had all his or her bills paid by others, and whose basic egocentricity has never been challenged or undercut. To be honest, this seems to describe much of the workforce and the student body of America. Many of the papers I receive in summer graduate courses at major universities are embarrassing to read in terms of both style and content, yet these same "adults" are shocked if they do not get an A. This does not bode well for the future of our country (p. 31).He traces the problem back to parenting:
Children need a good degree of order, predictability, and coherence to grow up well, as Maria Montessori, Rudolf Steiner, and many others have taught. Chaos and chaotic parents will rightly make children cry, withdraw, and rage--both inside and outside (p. 29).Are you in charge of children? Certainly you are in charge of yourself. Those you lead (including yourself) need calm and limits and protection in the soldiering first part of life where our container is fashioned. There is no substitute for helping others and ourselves interact with rules and boundaries, bridling our immature responses to allow maturity to gradually take the reins.
Does someone in your circle of influence need your wisdom and guidance to understand this? Do they need you to inject their frazzle with a calm pointing toward a more self-disciplined path?
Don't leave us to ourselves if we need your tough-love coaching. The rage and indulgence of today's young is ours to correct and self-correct.
Give the gift of a healthy container to yourself and those you lead.
