We become afraid of how we are going to look in a situation so we become brittle, unbending.
God's solutions always far outweigh ours in depth and creativity. It is not easy to operate out of His way of doing things.
It was my first month of being a principal. Tough middle school. A few kids had been held back so many times that they occasionally drove to school. I wasn't prepared to find parking spaces for students.
Jerry was one of those. Unfortunately, on top of his already tough-man stance covering some years of failure, he was living with a grandparent so technically he was out of our district. The rules required me to suspend him for 10 days while this was worked out.
Yet there he was on the front lawn before school, in a circle of his just-as-tough buddies, smoking.
From my office window, I said a prayer:
God, I have no idea how to best handle this. Please give me Your solution.I walked toward the group with kindness as my demeanor. I felt dozens of eyes glued on me, wondering what I'd do, as his smoking, of course, had not escaped the notice of everyone outside waiting on the bell.
I said to Jerry, "I'm sorry to do this, but you know you can't be here while we work out whether you are in our district or not. I'll get someone to take you home." My respect for him was as real as if I were talking to my superintendent.
He took a deep drag off his cigarette and blew it right into my face.
Still calm and kind, I turned and walked into the building. I called the sheriff's office and asked for a deputy. (Before the school year began, I established with them that if I needed them, to please send a uniformed officer--wearing a gun.)
Within minutes, I joined my uniformed escort outside and we casually followed the students into the building as the bell rang. I kept Jerry in my sights but chatted nonchalantly with the officer. We caught up with Jerry just outside his homeroom and I said, "Jerry, this officer will take you home. I hope we work it out that you can come back here. I'd like to have you this year."
I never said the first word about smoking. Jerry returned and we built a relationship of mutual respect. I never had another problem with his behavior.
How in the world could this have been the right thing to do? The rest of the verse from 1 Corinthians 10 (yesterday's post):
Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence.Is that what I discovered? Did I smash fear of judgment with vulnerability and let God create newness out of the pieces?
Tomorrow: How Jerry helped me uncover the meaning of God-confidence.
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