My daughter just told me in an email that she and her husband are atheists. What am I supposed to do?My friend forwarded the email, and I read the words of a delightful, twenty-something deep thinker who adores her mom.
The word atheist ignited fear like a wildfire in my friend's heart; all she could think and feel was failure as a mom to communicate her--the mom's--faith.
Gently, I said, "Your daughter sounds like she is in a warm and wonderful place in her relationship with you, even as she challenges you with her position. She has taken that giant step toward finding her own faith, and you have certainly helped shape her confidence to strike out on her own."
She countered, "But what do I do about her being an atheist?"
I said simply, "You retire as her faith coach. Your work is done. Hand the reins over to God."
As our children grow, it is quite the responsibility to be their faith coach. Every time our responses and actions point to Jesus and the camaraderie he designed in the journey to know him better, we lend our kids a picture of our faith. They hold onto this until they mature enough to step into their own faith picture. Nothing is more vital to the well-being of our young adults than to help them arrive at this point...and then, with our blessing, know to let go.
Here is the stunning news:
A giant peace settled over my friend, the kind we get when we align ourselves with God on whatever issue he brings before us.Her email reply confirmed three essential points:
That her mom loves her with all of her heart,
That she is proud that she is now exploring faith on her own, and
That she can't wait for their upcoming visit.Just like that, my friend wisely stepped out of the faith coach arena, opening up the next phase to God's design. She'll pray that he will send right people alongside them, people that will present the truth and love of God in language they can hear. She knows God loves them more and knows them better than she ever could. She knows God showed her it was time to let go.
Happy retirement, my friend. Your daughter is in good hands.
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