The frenzy of parenting is past, yet the need to still nurture is ever present. Along come these priceless little humans so in need of our doting. Are there rules for the road?
Only if you want access to these precious offspring.Grandparenting is so peculiar because we are now at the mercy of the very offspring we created and over whom we once wielded great influence. Now they hold all the cards.
I'm nine years into grandparenting, and as we enter this season of family get-togethers, I want to share what my children and in-law children have taught me.
The cardinal rule is this:
Curry favor with the parents of your grandchildren by practicing self-denial.Believe me, you will want to do this, and the parents will insist on that.
Should you win? Absolutely not. Not if you want a spectacular future as a grandparent. Their rules transcend your wisdom. Regardless of what you know or wish or think or need, the rules for their household trump all your desires.
Cultivate willpower to act on their "yes" and more importantly, respect their "no," and give your blessing on both.
They know better even when they don't know better. When we start by obeying their rules, they can open up to trust what we know, and they might even ask along the way what we think or what we would do.
That trust is earned. Unless you've been told differently by both soon-to-be parents, assume at the moment of birth that you have earned zero trust. They will watch your every move to see if you are willing to join them or resist them as they build their family.
Use your energy to pray like crazy. They need prayer covering and they will have less time than ever for what they need most. If you have unspent nurturing energy, spend it on your knees.
Don't take "it" personally. There are always going to be tense moments, differences of opinions, outright offenses spoken. Lead by yielding and affirming and admiring whatever their course of parenting may be.
It's all about them trusting us to obey (them).
Obey those children I once spent my life teaching to obey me? Yes.
This road of obedience will bring the universe of grandparenting into the realm of spectacular.
God means for us to be invaluable treasures in the lives of our grandchildren. Travel well the road to unlocking your treasure.
Comments are welcome at feedyourstrength@gmail.com.
